Being resilient is hard. Especially when it feels like there is one challenge followed by another challenge. Or there is a dark time that seems never ending. I can tell you, there is a light at the end of every tunnel. Some tunnels are just longer and darker. This is something a dear friend told me recently. The idea is that sometimes, as we go through life, there are times that feel dark, ominous and hopeless. After we get through to the other side, we can often reflect and understand how that experience helped to shape us or influenced who we are. When people are on the other side of a tough time, most people would tell you they would not change anything, even the hard stuff, as that was when they learned the most.
When you are in the dark part of the tunnel and it is one that feels exceptionally long, there are some strategies that have helped me along the way. It’s hard, but I have found that implementing these strategies have helped me get through.
- Be Curious – Ask What Is This Experience Teaching Me? By taking this approach, it can feel less ominous. I often say, I am just collecting data. I try different things/approaches and then analyze what worked and what didn’t. It makes it feel less personal. For example, if you feel like work is draining, try getting up and listening to a favorite song between meetings and dance. It may seem silly, but it works. Or make a list of things you can try to make the day better and figure out what works and discard the rest.
- Practice Gratitude – A gratitude journal is a great way to focus on what is good. Even on days where you are just grateful to breathe, it helps to write it down. Be specific. Really look for the good. There is always something to be grateful for.
- Try Something New or Bring Back Something You Used to Love – I used to write poetry and paint and be creative. Then adulting and life took over. Recently, when I was going through a tough time, someone told me to start painting again. I dismissed it, but then another reminder showed up and I tried it. I didn’t realize how much I missed tapping into that creative side of me. I now try to prioritize creativity each week.
It is easy to look at these and make excuses. “I don’t have time” or “that won’t work”…make the time. If you really look, you will find the time. Start small with 5 to 10 minutes a day. It is worth it.